urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shutupson sam sam 2007-05-25T21:08:12Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shutupson:6548 2007-05-25T21:07:19Z 2007-05-25T21:08:12Z i was hungry and all the days and all the people in the cafes and all the glasses i would have liked to drink and to break them and my heart burned in turns and the sun was a bad wound that split open like a burnt up inferno and the sky like the shredded tent of a poor circus and i dream and i smoke and the only flame in the universe is one poor thought..... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shutupson:6213 2007-05-23T20:43:46Z 2007-05-25T20:24:03Z 1.<br />and it's all the treasures that shine in the street as i walk right over them and its all the mornings i missed for sleep as the sun glides over my house and it's all the subtle change in landscape and business reminds me of my limited time this time i'll listen to the movement in my body how it keeps on despite myself and it frightens me <br />cause i'm barely alive<br />i'm desperate in finding something else to please me i've been searching my whole life something to mute, change, or just distract me something to put inside me to give the illusion of life<br />cause i've always been barely alive<br />i've always been barely alive<br /><br />2.<br />something is changing inside of me colors seem darker in light and i don't know what that means<br />but it's not a good sign<br />you can just add them up then you could memorize prehistoric bones all of those old memories you can push them out and prep yourself for brand new information<br /><br />don't deconstruct and then fill me in<br />i'm not that basic i swear<br />i've had enough of break downs and diagrams<br /><br />judging from picture books apparently heaven is a partly cloudy place and if the sky opened up and they let you in and gave you a formal invitation<br />would you go?<br />you can work from home.<br /><br />3.<br />the paint’s peeling off the streets again and i walk and i close my eyes in Oregon.<br />and i feel nothing, not brave. it’s a hard day for breathing again….<br /><br />the cold is chasing off all your friends and their scattered bodies part to the shore again. and i feel nothing, not sane.<br />it’s a hard day for dreaming again….<br /><br />i’m not going back to the assholes that made me and the perfect display of random acts of hopelessness.<br />i wish i could stay here but i think we’re all ready.<br />i think we’re all ready….<br />and i feel nothing, not safe.<br />it’s a hard day for dreaming again…<br /><br />4.<br />let's get together and talk about the modern age. all of our friends were gathered there with their pets just talking shit about how we're all so upset about the disappearing ground as we watch it melt....<br /><br />it's all of the good that won't come out of us and how eventually our hands will just turn to dust, if we keep shaking them.<br /><br />i do this thing where i think i'm real sick but i won't go to the doctor to find out about it<br />cause they make you stay real still in a real small space as they chart up your insides and put them on display.<br />they'd see all of it, all of me, all of it.<br /><br />all the good that won't come out of me<br />and all the stupid lies i hide behind.<br />it's such a big mistake.<br /><br />you say i choose sadness<br />that it never once has chosen me.<br />maybe you're right...<br /><br />let's talk about all of our friends who lost the war<br />and all of the novels that had yet to be written about them.<br /><br />it's all the good that won't come out of them<br />and all the stupid lies they hide behind.<br />it's such a big mistake.<br /><br />it's all of the good that won't come out of me<br />and how eventually my mouth will just turn to dust<br />if i don't tell you quick. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shutupson:5631 2007-05-03T21:04:27Z 2007-05-03T21:04:27Z Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down,<br /><br />I can't make my livin', around this town,<br /><br />'Cause tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />I said tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />And I've got to make my livin', don't care where I go.<br /><br />I need shoes on my feet, clothes on my back,<br /><br />Get tired of walkin' these streets, all dressed in black,<br /><br />But tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />I said tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />And I need four or five good tricks, standin' in front of my door.<br /><br />Peace have mercy, bad luck's on my lead,<br /><br />Four or five good tricks is all the money I need,<br /><br />But tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />Tricks ain't walkin', tricks ain't walkin' no more,<br /><br />And I can't get a break, don't care where I go.